Jack’s Haunt

More fucking technological setbacks. So, I was just working on “Drenched in You” and it turns out that it’s way to goddamn lo-fi. Even for my tastes. The mic has trouble picking up my higher frequencies and the bass is almost non-existent. Here’s how to get a feel for the recording: Take your favorite song of all time and play it on a really shitty stereo. Now, while it’s playing, pick up the stereo and THROW IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW. That’s what the recording would sound like. It appears as though, if I’m going to do anything involving any sort of media, I’m going to have to buy new equipment. I’m not going to waste the money on that now. I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak. If you want to hear/see what I’m doing for the time being, you’re going to have to talk to me in person. If you want to hear “Drenched in You”, ask me to bring my guitar because it’s not getting done right now. It’s a good song; I promise you that. Whatever. I have some reading to do. Läterz.

I am so dumb. So, I’m supposed to be awake sometime in about 5 or 6 hours, right? Well, I decided that it would be a good idea to give in to my sleepiness earlier and get myself into “sleep mode” as opposed to my “nap mode” (long story). I did this at roughly 8pm yesterday. Since I’ve been asleep already for about 7 hours, I can’t sleep for shit. I only ever do about 7 or 8 hours at a time anyway; I can’t oversleep. Weird. So now I’ve got all this time to kill and nothing to do. Thus begets this blog. I’ll try it again, maybe. Here’s to success!

So, the vlog thing’s not working out right now. The camera I have is a minidv. Well, it turns out that it doesn’t support streaming usb, so I can’t use that. Also, my laptop doesn’t have a firewire port. I’m out on that front as well. The only other option would be the a/v cable thing. Laptop doesn’t have that either. I have one of two options at this point: 1. I can’t buy a pci express card with a firewire port for about $80-$100 or 2. I could just buy a new fucking camera for $80-$100. I think I’m going to go with option 2 since it’d end up being more convenient in the long run and I’m not really looking toward professionalism with this.

I’ll keep you updated, but for the time being, my project is on the back burner.

However, I’m going to start delving into music again since I currently have a microphone for my laptop. Granted, it’s a shitty logitech headphone/mic combo, but I actually wanted to aim more toward the lo-fi genre and with my shitty mic, I don’t exactly need to compress it or anything. I should hopefully have a song up by Sunday night. It’s one I wrote a while ago and I just need to record it. It’s called “Drenched in You”. You’ll like it. It’s great.

I’m frozen solid with anticipation. I wait anxiously for the next 3 spins. What to do. Was it a lie? I need to talk. I’m not sure how to feel right now. I’ve been living these last several months full of something and it seems as though my heart is missing. It dropped off somewhere and I have no idea where to find it. Maybe you could help me? Doubtful, though. I haven’t heard you since the cold. I’ve been waiting for what seems like ages. I’ve tried my hand a few times, never once coming to fruition. Rice said it best, and I can only hope that it’s true. It won’t ever happen. Nothing can fill that hole. I never did this before. At least, I did a few times. Something stopped me, but since things transpired, I’ve started again with reckless abandon. I wait to go home. I can’t. I wait for vibrations and updates and darkness. None ever come. I wait for tunics and yarn and green. None ever come. I wait for unspoiled sugar, benign plague, gelatin joy, parsimonious murmurings and failed attempts at homogenization. None ever come. Autumn does. And with it, so much that I once had known so fondly. What ever happened? I’m conflicted about this entire thing. For Christ’s sake, I’m not Murray Leinster. I can’t do it. It’s up to you. It was such a monumental cock-up, wasn’t it? I won’t know what to say. Quod erat demonstrandum. I had made up my mind. It hasn’t changed. You’ll have to do something. Unless this was all a lie. My phone’s on and my email address hasn’t changed. I’m here; I know you’re there.

I am through feeling depressed and sorry for myself.

I have been lied to and I have been betrayed.

I am more angry right now than I ever have been in my recollectable life.

I am full of hate, rage and general unpleasantness.

I hope the person to whom my anger is directed realizes their mistake.

Though they probably won’t because my purpose has been met.

Fuck you.